March 28, 2007

Force Majeure

Scene: A agency gathering where Raul is explaining some new policies

Raul: So the blah blah for the blah blah and this means blah blah...

That meeting will push through except for force majeure. Hindi ko alam ang ibig sabihin ng force majeure, basta maganda siyang pakinggan!

So ngayon (looks to audience) halibawang nagunaw bigla ang buong Makati except ang GT Tower...tuloy ba ang meeting?

A slight pause from the audience. Then they collectively answer like zombies...

Audience: Oo.

Raul (flabbergasted but quickly regaining his composure) Mga gaga! (loud laughter from audience) Alam ko na kung ano problema natin. Bwahahahaha!

March 26, 2007

The Devil Is In The Details

One morning, Raul is sharing his belief that for presentations, attention to detail is everything. From your bag to your pen to your clothes, it's about details details details. Channeling Karl Lagerfeld, he sums up by saying...

Raul: "Clothes don't always make the man. (pause for dramatic effect) But darling, they sure fucking help! (pause again) Except kung style siya. Tulad ng linen."

March 25, 2007

Balenciaga vs. Secosana

The Scene: It's a discussion on the challenges facing agencies in the 21st century. The discussion shifts to price competition. Raul's challenge: To constantly make clients love the agency so much that it can command a premium.

Raul: Being the biggest is a position! It counts for something. But it alone is not enough. Kailangan iparamdam na we are worth it. Parang Balenciaga bag yan. I saw this nice Balenciaga bag na may mga ribbon ribbon worth P78,000. And just last weekend, I saw a knock-off na Secosana sa Landmark for P1,800. Eksaktong eksakto. To the untrained eye, maganda. I bought for my maids tuloy.

But anyway!

My point is...kahit ribbon ribbon lang yan, kailangan clients see us as Balenciaga and not Secosana. For whatever reason. Basta worth it.

March 23, 2007

Age-Appropriate Gayness

Raul speaking to a copywriter who could easily be mistaken for a child because of his modest size

"Masyado ka pang bata para maging bakla!"

March 14, 2007

How To Deal With Difficult Clients

In a discussion with some of the creatives, Raul delivers this piece of advice with all the conviction in the world...

Raul: More than briliance, humor has gotten me this far. You need humor because you cannot allow yourself to reach the point of cynicism. It's not healthy. Before you know it, may gusto ka nang patayin...either kliyente mo, AE mo, boss mo o ang sarili mo.

(Pauses for dramatic impact)

And have to save your soul!

March 9, 2007

Presentation Skills

One afternoon, during a discussion about the future...

Brave Soul: So Raul, do you think creatives should be better presentors? I notice that a lot of good ideas die because they can't present their work.

Raul: (After thinking) No, not necessarily.

Brave Soul: Why?

Raul: Isipin mo..porket tatlong milyon yung tagyawat niya sa mukha kahit magaling siyang art director wala na siyang silbi? O ang baho baho ng hininga niya pero magaling sumulat ng copy, tsugi na? So no, they don't to be good presentors.

Oo nga naman!

Tips for Better Living

The scene: Raul is sharing his thoughts on how he's been motivating a talented but mercurial creative.

Raul: Sabi ko sa kanya, ngumiti ka lang at siguradong gaganda ang mga layout mo!

Even Oprah couldn't have thought of that.

March 8, 2007

Not Yet!

Scene: Raul is outlining his plans to a small group. Na-bring up ang topic ng Creatives sa McCann at Harrison, both seeking Raul's urgent attention.

Raul: Contrary to what people think, I am not favoring McCann over Harrison. Wala naman akong kamag-anak o romantic interest sa McCann! At wala rin naman akong gusto kay Big Cheese 1 at Big Cheese 2!

Brave Soul from the Peanut Gallery: At wala rin naman silang gusto sa'yo...

Raul (Bella Flores cackle with raised eyebrow): Hahahahahaha! don't know that!!! Hindi natin alam yan! Not yet!!!


March 7, 2007

The Dark

Context: The area surrounding Raul's corner office is dark. As in really dark. The creatives in McCann apparently like the mood lighting. The side where Raul's office is on the floor is away from the sun. So it's extra dark. Moving on...

Raul: (as he walks to his corner office one night) Ang dilim dilim naman dito sa opisinang ito! Ang dilim dilim! (motions like a blind man walking) Para akong bulag na madidisgrasya dito.

Creatives and some suits chuckle silently in the background. They can't help it. Raul's a natural entertainer.

Raul: Kaya siguro malungkot dito at maasim! Kasi madilim! Bwahahaha! Ayaw niyong lumigaya! Bwahahaha! Buksan niyo na kasi ang ilaw.

March 6, 2007

Fear and G(loating) in Las Vegas

Scene: It's another late evening. Long day. Some people are having emotional beers at the 12th floor food court. In comes Raul and one of the big cheeses. This particular big cheese is a face of terror in the agency.

Employee:Hi Raul! Hi Big Cheese!

Big Cheese: O bakit kayo nage-emote dito?

Employee: Well Big Cheese, I had a really bad day. I was so busy and harassed the whole day then this file I emailed to the client didn't get through so I had to cancel one meeting just so I could go back and send the file again. Hay. Kapagod.

Big Cheese: O, why didn't you ask me to send it? It was just in my computer...

Raul: (quickly cutting in and with much glee) Fear yan no? Fear yan no? Bwahahaha! Feeeaaaarrrr!

He looks at Big Cheese and they're both maniacally laughing.